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Tag: Depression

Just bang like a death

Not a tender beat in that heart.

Cramp-like pain in the chest, and a headache that never stops.

The ink-black horrors when my eyes close.

With mouths peeled apart, as if to engulf.

A dark blue light with flickering shadows, watching everything as if from a fire.

A jade elephant sentry, at the gate to the red hill.

Smiling greasy faces in bliss oblivious, is it a warning?

Effortlessly fingerpainted masterpieces of a certain style I made in my mind.

Distracted and gone, but then back, almost but never.

Suddenly, you can’t remember the last time you breathed.

Realisation: a death of the self.

He’s not breathing.

Gold

Feeling silly because what?
You didn’t know, how could you?

Stronger and slower.
Take your time.
Weaker but faster – mass produced.

This fucking weather,
It’s enough to make anyone sad.

How can you be happy in a prison of your own creation?
Who lets you out of a trap
You set for yourself
And only you know about?

You see her and she’s hurt too
Is that because of you?
What hell have you caused?
What pain could you stop?

How can happiness seem so contrived?
Why cant I allow myself that one sliver of gold?

Carry me back.

The Monster

You can tell when the monster is talking. It’s obvious.

The man becomes quiet and he can’t remember what happened.

Furious judgement, obsessed anger.

Then, a switch flips and away with narcissism.

Reason and peace, until the next time.

Ups are getting shorter and further apart.

Downs are deeper and longer.

One day, the downs will be all there is, after one final miserable up.

And who will know?

In the darkness, alone.

©2024 David Newton